As I continue on along the road of adulthood and dating I have begun to wonder, does the nice guy really exist? Or better yet is he actually nice or just calling himself that? The nice guy paradox is one that continues to puzzle us 21st century gals. In the life of a woman I’m sure all of you can understand the frustration felt when a guy asks you “why do girls always go for the asshole?” Ok first of all can I just answer that by saying, the girl going for the f**king asshole is a bitch herself. If you look at the happy couples around you the girl hasn’t chosen an asshole, she’s fallen for the man best suited to her. Why do men still believe in the old adage that women only fall for dickheads? ‘Nice guys’ out there believe this so deeply that they themselves become an asshole. This could be because some girl broke his heart, well lads I’m sorry to say it but having your heart broken is not a good enough excuse to act like a douche towards every other woman you date afterwards. Odds are every girl you’re being an asshole towards has already had her heart broken by some other asshole. Now I’m not saying that all women are sugar and spice, some are genuine users of men. However if you’re dating a woman who actually likes you enough to let your actions hurt her feelings then you don’t deserve her.
How many of you ladies have fallen for some charmer of a man who says the right things, acts nicely, listens to you, and then f**ks off once he gets what he wants? My guess would be all of you. Men seem to be saying they’re nice guys so emphatically that we begin to believe it, however does he mean it? Is a guy so busy trying to convince himself he’s a nice guy that he actually forgets to be genuinely nice? So many of my male friends are so terrified of becoming ‘friend zoned’ they forget to be a gentleman. I only have one mate who used the ‘friend zone’ to his advantage, and let me tell you, he got more action than any other asshole I know. Why? Because he was one, honest about what he wanted from a girl, and two, he wasn’t afraid of the friendship label. More than likely a woman is ‘friend zoning’ you because she’s learning to trust you. She’s keeping you around without the promise of sex to see if you’ll actually stick around long enough to get to know her and actually care about her. The only phrase men should be scared of is, “I wish I could meet someone just like you.” If she says that then she’s an asshole herself. BUT if you never hear that phrase uttered and she never says to you that more guys should be like you, then odds are she’s wanting to be your friend in order to see whether or not you actually respect her.
In my experience of dating the ‘nice guy’ I have come to be so pessimistic of his existence that I’m scared I’m becoming cynical. There comes a point in every woman’s dating life when she has been burned by too many men pretending to be genuinely nice. For instance a nice guy does not;
Start a relationship he has no intention of following through on.
Get a f**k buddy if he has no intention of actually ending it to her face or even via a f**king text.
Call himself a ‘nice guy’, because if he is actually nice he doesn’t need to validate it by stating it.
Play the invisible man when he’s done with a girl.
I think you get the gist. Dating is hard enough as it is, but now that we’re trying desperately to distinguish the nice guy from the faker it has become even more infuriating. I think all men need to listen to Beyonce’s, ‘If I Were a Boy’. That song speaks so much truth it’s almost sad. Women are constantly feeling the pressure to be self-sacrifing within a relationship. I hope I’m not the only one who has played the compromiser within the relationship only to get nothing in return. There’s nothing more disheartening than realising that you’re the one who is sacrificing their life, their interests, their needs, for someone who can’t even say thank you. Look some men are actually just clueless idiots, however others just obviously don’t give a shit about your feelings. And that’s the thing that hurts the most. When you realise that he actually just doesn’t give even a single thought to how you feel. So you look back on your beginnings with this man and realise he played the part of the ‘nice guy’ so well that he forgot to actually be nice. He became the hypocrite. And in my opinion there’s nothing worse than being a hypocrite.
So does he really exist? In our modern dating era men are either afraid of commitment, been burned by some bitch, worried they’ll miss out on the single life, or are so terrified of the friend zone they become an asshole in order to get in her pants. I am so sick of the phrase, “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Well then if you’re not looking for anything then f**k off you’re not worth my time, because I don’t deserve to be used and forgotten. At some point in the last two decades the power in dating has switched from women to men. Men seem to have realised women are pushing back love for their careers so fiercely that they reach a moment when they realise “F**k I’m still single”. And men know this. They know women at some point realise they want or need a man, and they prey on it. Gone are the days of men being afraid to talk to women, or to offer her drinks all night. Men now seem to do as little as possible to make sure she has the lowest expectation of him as possible. I know it may sound as though I am cynical or just bitter, but after a few too many f**kboys and broken promises it’s an inevitable position to take.