Everyone probably has that one person in their past who broke them. The one person who actually broke your heart, turned out to be a total liar and hypocrite. The problem with having this person in your past, is having them still in your present. Whether it’s direct or indirect contact, somehow they’re still f***king with your brain. And no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise you still give a shit about him. You still let his actions affect you. And for a while you’re scared you’ll never get over him. You’re scared he’ll always have the ability to mind f**k you. Most of all you’re probably scared he’ll always be there in the back of your mind when someone new and amazing comes into your life.
Even worse is when the one who broke you is happy. There’s nothing more heart wrenching than hearing that the one who broke you is happy. Worse than that is if they’ve moved on within 4 – 5 months of ending things with you.
So to that person, whether they broke your heart, lied to you, cheated on you or just generally f***ked with your heart, there’s quite a lot we want to say to you.
To the man who broke us,
I know we ended over ten months ago and we weren’t together all that long, but there’s some things I want to say but never had the chance. There’s things I needed to tell you but never felt it was right. However now that you have moved on, with someone who is apparently horrible, I feel there are many things you should know. First of all, yes you really did break my heart. You were my first love and that doesn’t go away quickly. I know I never told you but that’s only because I never felt my love would be returned. And I don’t deserve to feel second best.
Yes I was upset when I found out that you had moved on. Yes it did make me angry because you told me you didn’t want a relationship, you wanted to be alone and single for a while. You said you weren’t ready for this type of commitment and felt scared. You lied. I don’t care if you meant it at the time, and weren’t looking for her, but if you truly meant it then you wouldn’t be living with her right now. I know it’s pathetic to feel this but I’m angry and jealous. I’m angry that you’re the one who broke me, you were the bad guy and yet you’re the one who’s happy and I’m still alone.
I do hate that you deleted me off Facebook, as petty as that sounds. It did actually hurt my feelings that you stopped even acknowledging me. It does hurt me that you can’t even be in the same room as me now, when before her you could speak with me and even be friendly with me. Most of all it hurts that you attack our friends for still seeing me, because they’re the reason we met. It hurts that you call me your ex, and not their friend. Because I’m not just your ex, I wasn’t your ex when I met them, I wasn’t even your girlfriend when I became friends with them.
It hurts that you fight so fiercely for this woman when she sounds so wrong for you. I want to ask you so many things. Why are you with someone that embodies everything you said you hate? Why are you fighting with your family for someone who doesn’t even like them? Most of all why are you committing to someone when you said you didn’t want to commit for quite some time?
How dare you lie to me, how dare you make me feel worthless, like I did something wrong. I may not be perfect, god knows I may not have been the perfect girlfriend, but I cared about you. I was the compromiser, and I realise now you never really noticed. You never really did care all that much did you? Did you even want to be with me? Or did you just want to feel loved? Because I know some people enjoy being the one who receives all the love and doesn’t feel the need to return it.
Do you even know how hard it is to believe you won’t even say hi to me? Do you know how much of a slap in the face it is to me and us that you won’t even acknowledge me? Can you even put yourself in my shoes? I have never even seen you or your new love since you met. So why do you insist on making me look like the bad guy when I can’t picture you together? I have never met her, spoken to her, or even spoken to you since you met. I don’t deserve to still be mind f***ked by you. I shouldn’t even still be affected by you but if only you had been honest with me when you ended things. If only you had just said you didn’t like me anymore then that would have been fine. Sure I would have been angry then but at least now I wouldn’t be confused and angry. If you had been honest with me then I wouldn’t be wondering; why her?; why not me?; what was wrong with me?; and why are you with someone who is the exact opposite of me?
I know you will never truly know how much you upset me, how long it took to stop loving you, but at least I’m still surrounded by people who love me. I’m the one surrounded by those who don’t want to change me. They love me for I am, which more than I can say for you.