i have no idea what i’m doing.

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After the worst few months of my life, yesterday I broke down. Yes I was the woman silently trying not to cry on the train home. After failing a second uni assignment for the semester I had an absolute tsunami of emotions. Not only was I upset about the fact I could fail a whole unit, I then began crying about everything I hadn’t said aloud. When I finally escaped the train and practically ran to my car, I broke down. Sitting in my car I cried for at least ten minutes, in silence, alone. I cried about uni, about my ex, about the fact I feel as though this past year of uni has been my absolute breaking point. For a moment I thought ‘Why am I still trying? I could just be a stripper, or a hooker like Pretty Woman.’ I mean I would be a hell of a stripper, but I don’t like wearing heels all day so it’s not worth it. It’s safe to say that after a year of disappointment I have slowly descended into wine, wishful thinking/drinking and retail therapy gone wild.

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Naturally I told my closest friends and was met with a wave of lovely messages and support. Of course I went straight to my bestie’s house for coffee, chocolate and a whinge session. From there I went out for dinner and drinks with another friend, who bought me chocolates. Then today I was surprised in the afternoon by a bouquet of chocolates and lollipops from two of my best friends (well she organised it and he wanted to take some credit for it). Naturally I nearly cried all over again but had just fake tanned so obviously couldn’t risk it. Once again I was in awe at how wonderfully amazing my friends truly are. So I may not know what I’m doing in life a lot of the time but at least they’re there to feed me chocolate and take me drinking.

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