what your single friends wish you knew.

Yes it is actually f**king hard to meet men. 

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I’m not talking meeting a one night stand or a fling, that’s the easy part. I’m talking actually meeting a man worthy of dating or that actually wants to date you. How many times have you had to explain that yes it actually is hard to meet men? If it’s once then that’s too many. Actually finding a worthy mate is terrible, no worse than terrible, it’s a nightmare. Tinder is not the answer either, so if I ever actually meet someone from there it’s basically just to have sex. Also no, meeting guys at functions and parties or bars is f**king hard. In fact it’s like going to war, every other single girl is your enemy and odds are their better at it than I am.

I love makeup because it’s fun, not to impress every guy I see. 

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Yeah makeup is hella fun and I don’t use it impress some random dude who doesn’t know the difference between NARS Luxembourg and NARS Dragon Girl. I wear it and I invest in it because I enjoy doing makeup, talking about makeup, shopping for makeup and reading about makeup. Spending a ridiculous amount of money on makeup is my choice, because it’s my money and I have no one to answer to. Yes I may be poor but it’s by my choice and it’s for me, no one else.

Yes I go to the gym and eat healthy, not for anyone else but me. 

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Just because a single girl is in shape and eats healthily does not mean she is on a man hunt. Everyone deserves to look and feel their best, according to them. Whether that means being super fit, thin, curvy, lean, who the f**k cares as long as she’s happy and confident and above all healthy. No, single women are not going to the gym to meet men. Many of us actually go to all female gyms because we don’t really feel like attempting to look when we exercise because believe it or not we sweat.

Going to a function or party is not always an invitation to pimp me out. 

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Ok so sometimes I may want a friend to hook me up or play wingman, however a single girl must be asked first. Imagine standing at a function awkwardly while your friends send you random guys you have no intention of even talking to. If a single lady wishes to hook up then she’ll either tell you OR flirt like a badass with every cute guy available.

I own a vibrator because every single girl needs some self love. 

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The idea that women don’t masterbate is archaic. Especially single women. Despite popular belief single ladies are not having sex every weekend or organising booty calls. I would like to meet the woman who is actually having sex 3 -4 times a week and single. She’s a f**king liar, obviously. Having a vibrator is often essential in the single ladies survival kit.

Even though I love you both, stop making out in front me. 

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This also applies to groping in front of me, using pet names, arguing and just general cutesy couple shit. Not only is this often hugely disrespectful, it’s just f**king awkward. Despite the fact single girls are happy for their friends and love listening to their couple friends talk about each other, this does not mean we enjoy witnessing the love. Seriously enough it’s actually disgusting.

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