the love/hate relationship with christmas.

Obviously as this time of year rolls around it’s not just Christmas you have to deal with, but New Years Eve and basically the entire summer (for Aussies anyway). For those working in retail obviously they hate their lives around Christmas time. For those working in schools you love it and hate it, cus let’s face it you’re writing reports and praying for the holidays. For those in big families it signals the time of year when you become completely broke. For those newly committed couples and married couples it’s deciding your Christmas day and New Years Eve routine. And for those of us who are repeatedly single over this time of year it signals the beginning of a sea of confused emotions and attitudes.

We’ll start with the hate and ease on into the love…

The food… 

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I mean yeah the food is good but, being in Australia means Christmas is in Summer. YAY. Except not yay because us single ladies and lets face it everyone with self image issues binge eats food over the holidays only to regret it later when you’re standing on a beach with your friends looking like a whale. Plus if you’re like me then you’ve been attempting the I Quit Sugar lifestyle change and am currently failing at it. I have little self control when I get cravings and being around chocolate almost every single day means I’m sneaking chocolate and feeling guilty afterwards. So yes the food is a love/hate thing, but let’s be real we hate the after effects most of the time.

The New Years Kiss…

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I can’t remember the last time I actually had a New Years kiss with a male, or a female that wasn’t a friend. The New Years kiss is barbaric for those of us who don’t have a soul to kiss. Similarly couples who are spending New Years apart are now left to feel alone and judged that they can’t kiss anyone. I feel the New Years midnight kiss should die in a hole and never be revived.

Getting presents you never intend on using from family you never see…

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There’s nothing worse than getting shitty presents from aunties and uncles you see once or twice a year. These presents are things that they think would appeal to a youngen like you but there actually crap. I mean why bother even attempting a gift when we all know it’s getting returned or thrown out straight away. We’d all be happy if I was given money.

Holiday depression brings on the horny… 

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Please refer to the food section of this rant. As stated previously Aussie’s celebrate Christmas in summer…..yay….. We get fat on holiday food, depressed over the fact we’re single over the holidays, aching for a summer romance, and hence becoming so horny you’d think we were on heat. Finding a decent holiday suitor is damn hard. And the fact you’re self esteem is plummeting thanks to the holiday food and drinks you’ve been guzzling down like a starved lion isn’t making the process any easier.

The love. 

Christmas songs…

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The joys of not working in retail not only include, well not working in retail, but also the fact those few of us who don’t have to live in a shopping centre during Christmas means we still love carols. I mean basically the minute I’m in November my Michael Buble Christmas album is playing non-stop. And that bad boy aint getting turned off till Boxing Day. Maybe even after.

It’s Christmas time…. 

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Obviously Christmas is awesome, despite what I’ve said previously. BUT like all women I don’t actually like or hate things in a standard way. I f**king love Christmas. I’m basically the anti-Grinch. Seriously I actually enjoy shopping for presents, decorating the tree and going to every holiday party you can think of. I live for this shit. In fact I actually like giving presents more than getting them. Seeing someone open your present and loving it is such a goddamn rush I get high for a minute.

Sitcom Christmas specials… 

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Is there anything better than waking up on Christmas morning knowing you’re gonna spend at least three hours watching reruns of your favourite Christmas specials? The answer’s no. Obviously we’re all spending Christmas eve and day watching beloved characters enjoy Christmas before we stuff our faces over lunch and dinner.

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