cray cray thoughts you have when your period is late.

Every woman probably knows the panic you feel when your period is late. Even though sometimes you’re not even sexually active you still panic. However if by happy chance you’ve found your way into a suitors bed and had some fun times under the sheets then odds are you probably panic twice as hard. So I thought I’d just compile all the random, ridiculous thoughts you have when you’re little red mate hasn’t arrived on time.

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  • Oh my god I’m late…
  • Shit…. when did I have sex?
  • Have I had sex recently?
  • Did I actually bang that guy when I was pissed that one time three months ago?
  • Have I been pregnant this whole time?
  • Like one of those freaky girls you hear about on the news?
  • No that can’t be right.
  • Maybe I’m just stressed.
  • I mean I do feel bloated, so that’s a good thing right?
  • Holy crap was that condom out of date?
  • Did he put it on properly?
  • F**k what if I’m pregnant?
  • Shit should I like research how to get rid of it? OR just prepare for my life as a mum?
  • No, no, just calm down girl you’re only two days late just chill the f**k out.
  • I am sick at the moment so maybe it’s just pushed it back a little…
  • STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!
  • Why does your body make your period late the more you stress about it?! Like what a cruel and heartless bitch my uterus is. “I know you’re freaking out but jokes I’m gonna just hold onto this mess up in here” My body is a bitch.
  • Maybe if I just shove a tampon up there… that could just make the blood come out?
  • I should have taken he morning after pill just to be safe.
  • Why the fuck did I get lazy and go off my pill?!
  • That’s it I’m never having sex again it’s way too stressful.
  • I’m just using a vibrator from now on, you can’t get pregnant from a vibrator.
  • Day three…. what the f**king f**k???? Where the hell is it?
  • That’s it I’m pregnant.
  • I knew it.
  • I wasn’t feeling sick because of those nuggets I shoved in m gob it’s morning sickness at 8pm.
  • If I wake up tomorrow with clean undies I’m gonna flip a table.
  • Day four… THANK F**K YAS, I don’t even care that I’ve ruined this cute pair of knickers, I’m not pregnant!!

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